I'll Still Love You
by bonniebonbon
Summary: Draco writes a bunch of letters to Hermione, saying he's sorry and that he loves her. But he'll never have the guts to send it... DM/HG, written for The Greenhouses Competition: Iris. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Hermione, _

_I love you. I love your bushy hair, all wild and free. I love your determination; your strength; your loyalty to your friends. I love your brilliance; your wit; your cleverness. _

_Hermione, I love you. Yes, you, the one who I bullied ever since first year, the one who I called a mudblood._

_Believe me, I hated doing that. I couldn't stand it. Hurting the one I love…I couldn't bear it. _

_But I'm not as strong as you. I couldn't stand up to my father, tell him I didn't want to do this anymore, that I don't CARE if he banishes me, that I don't WANT to be a death eater! _

_So I kept doing it. First Year…Second Year…Third Year…and so on. All the way to Seventh Year. _

_I kept on hurting you. It was killing me. _

_I wish I were you. You're strong; you can overcome your fears. I'm afraid of Father. I'm weak, so weak. Look at me, I'm afraid of my own father! I always do whatever he asks. _

_Never. Never have I stood up to him. I let him boss me around. He tells me that Mudbloods are trash? I say that Mudbloods are trash. He tells me to join Lord Voldemort? I join Lord Voldemort. _

_He says to make your lives miserable?_

_I do just that. _

_Yeah, I guess this is more of an apology letter than a love letter. But what does it matter, I will never have the guts to send it. Father would probably find out, and I will be punished severely. _

_You…you wouldn't care. You'd do what's right, no matter the consequences. I wish I were you._

_I love you. I know that you hate me, everyone does. But I just wanted to let you know that I love you, I really do. _

_If this makes you hate me even more, the fact that I'm weak, that I do everything my Father asks me to…_

_That doesn't change anything. _

_I'll still love you. _


	2. AUTHORS NOTE

**A/N: Hey everyone! I got a review saying that I should make this a multi-chapter fanfic. What do you guys think? PM or Review, please! **

**BTW, if you have time, check out my other fanfics! **

**Have a great day! POTTER ON, PPL!**

**~Bonniebonbon**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey! SO SORRY, but change of plan! This is ONLY going to be in Draco's POV. Hope you like the chapter!**

_Dear Hermione…_

_My father was caught and thrown into Azkaban today. Mother has been in her room crying ever since we got the news this morning. _

_Is it wrong of me? Am I a bad person, because I don't feel sad? _

_At all? _

_My father-he was the one I looked up to when I was little. But as I grew up, I found it harder and harder to believe his beliefs and think his thoughts. _

_But-I kept going. Even though I knew he was wrong, I stayed by his side. I may have been a good son, but I was not a good person. _

_Well- I thought I was a good son. _

_But do good sons feel empty inside when their father's get thrown in prison?_

_I, Draco Malfoy, couldn't stand up to him. I waited until the Ministry of Magic came and arrested him. _

_You-you're a good person and a good daughter. You erased yourself from their memories, and you fight for what you believe in. _

_If this makes you hate me even more, the fact that I feel no grief, that I am a horrible person and son-_

_That doesn't change anything. _

_I'll still love you. _


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! I suggest you reread the third chapter, because I replaced it. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

_Dear Hermione, _

_Mother is in the hospital. She has gone insane, ever since Father's imprisonment. The Healers say that there is a chance she will recover, though. A small chance; miniscule, in fact-but still, a chance. _

_But, then again, I wish she would just die. She is suffering, the pain is so great-wouldn't death be somewhat inviting? _

_I know-how horrible of me, to wish death upon my own mother! _

_Hermione. I lost…everything. _

_You see, I fought in the war because the Dark Lord threatened to kill my family. But even though Potter defeated him…it seems like he killed my family, anyway. _

_It…was all for nothing. The things I did, the people I help kill-it was all for nothing._

_I have no excuses for the things I did, anymore. I never did-but at least, I thought I did. I thought I was doing it for my family. I was doing it for my family._

_But it seemed, like I failed. I ruined my family, despite all the horrible things I've done to keep it together._

_So, Hermione, if this makes you hate me even more, that I've done such horrible things for no reason, that I failed to save my family-_

_That doesn't change anything._

_I'll still love you. _


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: HEYYY! I'm back! Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

_Dear Hermione, _

_My mother passed away this morning. It seemed like I got my hopes up for nothing. I keep thinking, that if I didn't do some of the things I've done, this wouldn't have happened. Mother would still be alive, as well as others._

_God, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't have done so many things. _

_I wouldn't have believed everything they said, wouldn't have followed everything they told me to do. I wouldn't have been so mean at school, wouldn't have become a Death Eater and watch people be tortured and killed._

_I __would've__ made friends with you, would've been at your side. Would've make you laugh, scowl, tease, scream and smile. I would've told you how much you meant to me. _

_But instead, I made you angry, made you cry. You hated me._

_If I could go back in time, and start over from scratch, and not make the same mistakes-I would have been happy. _

_You would've been happy. _

_If this makes you hate me more, that I made so many mistakes in my life, that I have so many regrets-_

_That doesn't change anything._

_I'll still love you. _

**A/N: So, did you like it? Please review! And, if you have a chance and didn't already, please check out my other stories! Thanks! **

**POTTER ON,**

**Bonniebonbon**


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